The prostate is an untapped source of immense pleasure for many people. However, it can be intimidating—and a bit risky—to dive into prostate play with no guidance.
So let’s shed some light on prostate play! Here is your guide to getting down and dirty with the P-spot.
Note that while this guide was written for partners who are interested in giving a prostate massage, the information in it also applies to solo P-spot play. If you have a prostate, you can massage it on your own; you don’t need a partner to push that P-spot button.
What is the P-spot?
The prostate (P-spot) is only anatomically in the bodies of cisgender men and people who were assigned male at birth. A prostate’s role in the body is a gland that produces ejaculation fluid that mixes with sperm that is produced by the testicles, and together makes semen. It is located underneath the bladder, behind the penis, but in front of the rectum. The easiest way to get to the prostate is through the anus, feeling it through the rectum wall. It is often called the “male G-spot” because when stimulated through the anus, it can cause a full body orgasm (though “AMAB G-spot” is more accurate, since the term “male” here is referring to folks who were assigned male at birth).
Communication Cums First
When it comes to anything sexual (or non-sexual, for that matter) with a partner, communication is key! Talk with your partner and make sure you are both on the same page with desiring this act. As we all know, sex is only fun when both parties consent and are excited about the consent given (and, while the ways that we communicate consent verbally and nonverbally can be nuanced, the tldr; version is that sex without consent is assault).
Be sure to clearly communicate each of your desires and expectations. It can also be helpful to watch instructional videos together to spark conversation and questions. Our Men’s Prostate Play video, which demonstrates how to stimulate the prostate properly, is a great jumping off point.
Get Warmed Up and Ready
First off, be sure to have plenty of lube on hand! You never want to go into the anus without lube because it does not emit enough secretions for a smooth, comfortable experience.
One fantastic way to warm up for prostate play is analingus. Also called rimming, analingus is the act of licking the anus for erotic stimulation. If you and your partner are both into this, it can be done before a prostate massage (or during!) for relaxation and pleasure.
Watch our Prostate Play: Warming Up video for more tips on how to help warm your partner up before diving into the process.
Let’s Get Down and Dirty with the P-spot
When entering the anus, there are two sphincters: external and internal. The external sphincter is easy to get past, however the internal one can be a bit trickier. Relaxing the body by breathing deeply can help (see our Anal Breath video for guidance). Go slow and check in to make sure your partner is comfortable. Also check out our Anal Fingering video for more detail on anal fingering relaxation techniques.
Once you have entered the anus, stick your pointer or middle finger inside of the rectum about two inches deep and move it towards the front of the body in a come-hither motion. You should feel a small ball. The more turned on the person is, the bigger the ball gets and the easier it is to locate. Remember that the prostate is sensitive, so do not go poking around aggressively! Instead, massage it with light pressure.
Some massage techniques that may feel good include going in circles with your finger on the prostate, tapping the prostate gently, or making a windshield wiping motion on it. You can find a demonstration of massage techniques in our Internal Anal Massage video. What feels good for one person might not feel good for another, so be sure to communicate about what does and doesn’t feel good.
The receiver might enjoy masturbating during the prostate massage for maximum pleasure, or having a partner masturbate them. Though many people with prostates are able to orgasm from P-spot stimulation alone.
Risks Associated & Tips
Anal tissue is delicate. Especially with penetrative play, there is a risk of tearing or otherwise damaging the tissue inside or outside of the anus. Damaging the tissue can cause discomfort and increase the risk of transmitting STIs.
It’s important to know that pain is not a necessary part of anal stimulation! Go slow, remember to breathe, and use lots of lube. If it is painful to stimulate your prostate even with gentle touches, it may be a good idea to see a healthcare provider to see if there might be a medical issue.
Since we are dealing with the anus, there is also the possibility of things getting messy. You can prepare by having a bowel movement a few hours before play begins to prevent any fecal matter from coming out during penetration—unless you’re into scat play, in which case, enjoy the mess! Note that, even if you do empty your bowels ahead of time, there might be traces of feces left behind in the rectum from past bowel movement, which is completely normal. Wash your hands after anal play with soap and warm water to avoid contaminating the genital area, which can cause UTIs and other medical issues. If you prefer easier clean up, try using medical grade gloves during prostate massage.
Remember to relax, breathe, apply lube often, and enjoy all the euphoric pleasures of the P-spot.