What happens after that amazing and boundary-pushing scene is done? Aftercare, of course, but Mollena points out that it can look different depending on your needs. Is it a high-five and “Nice job!” or hours of “cuddles and Belgian chocolates”? It’s important to know your “path to aftercare” before you start the scene, especially in the kinds of scenes where, as Mollena warns, you may not be in a place to give or receive it from your partner. She lays out exactly how to plan for recovery in this clip.

Boundary Smackdown

1. Boundary Smackdown Part 1: Hard & Soft Limits
2. Boundary Smackdown, Part 2: Negotiation
3. Boundary Smackdown Part 3: Pushing the Edge
4. Boundary Smackdown Part 4: Negotiating Aftercare