Rope.

I saved rope for my second-to-last assignment at the Kink Academy. I’d been quite leery of watching videos on a subject that has been something of a difficulty for me personally. One of the things about rope that people fail to ever tell you is that the rope geeks just make it look easy. Unless you’re a girl scout or sailor, tying knots can be difficult. I sometimes tease that I wear high heels simply because they don’t come with laces. I’ve tried to learn before. Several times in fact. But I’ve never gotten the hang of it. I’ve always given up after a few minutes. And I always feel like an idiot in front of other people when learning rope because everyone else seems to get it far easier than I did. I’ve always felt embarrassed that I just didn’t “get” it.

I watched several rope videos to get a feel for the wide variety of rope skills. I watched videos on connection, on suspension (I’m a Graydancer fangirl), on harnesses and corsets and more. Searching for just something that I thought I could actually do. I wanted something easy to learn, so although these were really awesome, I settled down watching the beginning rope videos. I was searching for something uncomplicated, something pretty, and something that wasn’t difficult. AND it had to be something I wouldn’t need a body for.

I tried to find a bottom to practice with, but my schedule hasn’t been easy these past few weeks, not to mention that Septimus hasn’t been feeling very well. So I had to find something I could tie on a pillow or a chair. Something that even I, rope doofus that I am, could do.

I settled on the Lee Harrington Chest Harness. I watched the video several times and felt- apprehensive. I know rope is more about the connection between people, but I also know that the connection happens easier when one is able to do rope without thinking. And that takes practice.

By the time I’d gotten up and retrieved my rope (which was buried so deeply in the closet that it took me a while to find), I’d forgotten how the video said I should begin. Restart the video, X1.

I began tying on the pillow. I tried following alone with the video and because I was having a hard time (my fault, not the video), I had to stop and restart again. X2, X3, and X4.

I got halfway through the video and paused. I thought about all the times that Septimus had tied me and paused. I cried real tears about how I’d been such a dork when he’d needed to practice. If it was this hard, why on earth had I made things more difficult for him? I was beginning to get discouraged about the whole thing. I almost thought I should have watched something else. This was more difficult than I’d imagined. It brought up more feelings about all the times I’d been tied, about all the fun we used to have with rope, about partnership of rope that Septimus and I had found. I’d thought that perhaps the reason why we seem so often disconnected from each other recently is that rope has become secondary to everything else. This was the hardest task I’d set myself to with the Kink Academy. Feeling the wonderful textures of the rope, but through my hands on not through his.

I took a deep breath, I restarted the video again (X5) and continued. I finished the tie and stood back. This is what I’d managed to do. I should have listened to Septimus when he’d said to tie the chair, it’d be easier.

My frustration was taking root in the whole thing and I was ready to just chuck the pillow in the closet and call it a day, when Septimus urged me to try it again. And again. And again.

Around the third time, I realized that I didn’t have to stop and restart the video so often. I was getting further along each time before I had to look for help. I was getting a sense of accomplishment. A sense that I could do this. If I didn’t have the videos, I’d have given up after the first minute of being lost. With the video, I had a teacher of my own. Right. There. In. Front. Of. Me.

After the fourth time, I decided to drop the pillow and ended up with this:

I stepped back and looked at what I’d done. I looked at Septimus and smiled. He stepped back, didn’t make any adjustments, kissed me on the forehead, and said “great job princess”.

I untied the chair and the pillow and started to coil my rope back up. I was thinking of the other videos I’d watched and wondered how much practice I’d have to do to be able to do some of them. I’ll never be great with rope, but I hope to be able to do enough to get by. I’ll be happy with that. A few ties learned from the Kink Academy and I’ll be able to feel confident enough to tie in front of others.

I’d begun coiling the first length of hemp when Septimus stopped my hands. He turned me around to face him. He took my rope in one of his hands and with the other he grabbed the hair at the nape of my neck and forced my eyes up to his. I looked up at him and he whispered to me “now it’s my turn”.

I smiled.

And then I winked and handed him the pillow :)

~Silver