I suffer from anxiety and although it doesn’t effect me all the time, it is something I have to deal with on a pretty regular basis. Once upon a time, I didn’t really cope with it well, and there’s still times now that I find it hard but I’m also beginning to realise that I can use kink as a way to help work through it. A really good sensual and deep session, with a long work up to send me off to another place.
I’ve not had one of my better days today. It’s been a hard one and I’ve been trying to work through it when I got to thinking about my perfect release. I was watching a few videos on Kink Academy when I started fantasising about a scene that I think could help when when I’m low. It’s odd thinking about it as I’ve realised that I have a very different idea in my head about this kind of scene. I’m usually a fan of quite intense, boundary pushing scenes, with quite a lot of stingy pain and this just feels like I’m almost imagining the opposite.
I can imagine a candle lit room, soft hands running rope over my body, restricting my arms, the friction of cotton rope sending my mind wandering. A silk blindfold placed over my eyes, heightening my other senses. Nails lightly trailing across my skin, the soft suede of a flogger skimming my shoulders, a firm hand caressing. Teasing feelings, me never knowing when the build up will begin.
And so it starts, gentle at first, building slowly into a crescendo of thuddy, deep pain that goes through my core. Heavy flogging on my shoulders, a thick cane on my bottom, my head soaring into space. Taken deeper and deeper, the thuds getting harder, the feeling of hands firmly holding me, deep slaps and punches radiating through my body, energy flowing. A whisper in my ear, reassuring, simultaneously bringing me back to earth and sending my soaring with pride.
The release of the knots, the connection from the hands gliding across my skin. The release of breath, of negative energy draining from my body. The ideal release.