Once upon a time Onyx and I were running late for a queer play party. We were making our way out of the elevator of our building on the ground floor when I saw something slip from under his jacket and slide neatly through the thin crack between the elevator and the main floor. It was one of our toys: the wicked, short, thin, red acrylic cane. While it was not my favorite cane its sister cane—a thicker and longer red acrylic cane—had also recently been taken from us as well, it was stepped on and snapped during a passionate moment. I was quite sad since this brought our total cane count down to simply two.

It wouldn’t be as much of a problem if we only had two paddles or crops or straps, in fact we only have two or less of each of those, but canes are a different story. I love canes. As you probably figured already from the title of this post, canes are my favorite toy to play with, both as a Top and a Bottom.

I have written about canes before for Kink Academy, so if you’ve been following my posts you have already read about my love of canes once, but it bears repeating again. Why? There are more wonderful caning videos to talk about now, of course! Last time I was talking about Part 1 and Part 2 of a caning series by Princess Kali. Just recently Part 3 and Part 4 of the same series were released, which focus on slightly more advanced techniques and positions compared to the first two parts. She emphasizes aim/precision, grip, and enjoyment while demonstrating all of those exceptionally well. There are a few times when she looks into the camera quite triumphantly after a particularly good strike, her enjoyment plain on her face.

After the devastating loss of our red acrylic canes we had the fortune of picking up three new canes. They are all rattan with dipped latex handles; all hand made by a friend of a friend; two thin and short of slightly varied widths and lengths, and one long and thick. The two shorter ones are perfect for thigh caning such as that in the videos, or for breast and nipple caning, since they are so short. They are wicked stingy, though, especially the one that is slightly longer and slightly thinner than the other.

I was really pleased by Princess Kali’s similar but different grip she shows in parts 3 & 4, using the thumb rather than the pointer finger as a guide and to help strike the cane. The only chance I’ve had to practice the techniques have been on myself and on a pillow, as these videos came out after the last play event I was at where I had the pleasure of caning the back side of a wonderful man’s body. Luckily I know these techniques will get some play time very soon.

To go along with the caning I decided to watch Lee Harrington‘s Pain Processing video again. I had watched it near the beginning of the semester along with What Is Pain?, the first part of his pain videos. Of course, he talks about how pain processing differs so greatly depending on the person experiencing the pain and gives things we can do to enhance or distract from the pain that we are experiencing.

Before the caning I already mentioned, the one I gave at the last play event I was at, the same person I caned gave me a sound caning of my own. I had watched Pain Processing not long before that in preparation for this post, and so while I was experiencing that pain I made the effort to consciously notice the way I process pain and ways that were not my own but that I adopted. I make a good amount of sound when getting caned, and I tend to tense up my body, though I think the tensing tends to increase the pain.

At one point he and I struck up a conversation during a brief pause in strikes and when I continued talking even as they began to fall again I noticed how different the pain felt while my brain was active and talking instead of concentrating so fully on the pain I was being given. I could take a lot more without it being quite as painful. This is a technique I have been taught in some psychology class or another while I was getting my degree, and I’ve used it during painful procedures such as the insertion of my IUD, but I had rarely applied it to BDSM play. It wasn’t actually what I was looking for in that moment.

I wanted catharsis from that play, I was craving release. I wanted to cry and for it to be an ordeal, to see how much I could take, so I stopped talking. I didn’t get to the place that I was wanting to that night from canes or impact play of any kind, but I made some important discoveries about my own pain processing. Next time I can help myself along to where I want to go, or change my experience of the same action through my own choices as well. Of course, once Onyx knows about my techniques to engage or separate from the pain at will he can then use that to his own advantage. Oh, the possibilities.

-Scarlet Lotus